Community Corner

Twin Cities Parents Living Out a Fallen Minnesota Soldier's Legacy

Andrew Wilfahrt's death in combat sends parents to front lines in other battles. Sponsored by Grape-Nuts.

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Story by Corey Voegele

Jeff Wilfahrt wants his son to be remembered as more than a statistic. But he also doesn't think the death of his son, Cpl. Andrew C. Wilfahrt is any more or less tragic than the scores of other soldiers who have died in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Before he would talk about his son's sacrifice and the work he and his wife have done since Andrew's death, he wanted to make that very clear: “I was asked to consider (answering) the following questions. They all revolve around the death of one soldier of roughly 100 lost Minnesotans in our two most recent conflicts. 
His death is no more or less significant than all the others.”

It is true that the death of any one soldier is no more or less significant than the death of any other. It is also true that Andrew Wilfahrt's life, as well as the actions of his parents, Jeff and Lori, since his death, have become a source of inspiration for countless others.

Patch: 
Feb. 27, 2011 was a tragic day for you and your family. Can you describe the events of that day.
Jeff Wilfahrt: It was a Sunday. At roughly 10 o'clock that morning the doorbell rang. My wife and I were at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. Neither of us wanted to respond to the disturbance.
It had (already) been a rough week. About two miles from our home, a close friend and first cousin to me had died of a heart attack while clearing snow the previous Monday. His funeral was held two days prior on Friday. His name was Steve. He was near and dear to both my wife and I. Steve was a Navy Vietnam-era vet. Both of us were deeply stung by Steve's abrupt death. What was to be my last email from our eldest son in Afghanistan was, “Sorry to hear about Steve, dad.”
I went to answer the door. As I turned the corner I could see both of them through the window, Army officers, and I knew immediately what that meant.
The officers first and foremost were certain to establish my identity as Andrew's father. They entered the house under my tirade over these damn conflicts and the man who had kicked them off as Commander-In-Chief. My wife, looking stunned, emerged from the kitchen.
The officers delivered the news, the details as they knew them to that point, and we began starting a long string of signing papers. A Casualty Assistance Officer (CAO) from the local Red Bulls would be stopping later in the day; he was to handle all relations with the military from this point onward.
After maybe an hour the officers left. We were all that you may imagine: Stunned, tearful, shocked and trapped in a time warp that seemed to move at glacial speed.
And so the phone calling began to alert family, friends and those we knew to be close with Andrew.
I want to state that we are well aware of Abu Ghraib, the Tillman tragedy, et cetera, but the Army treated this family very well. Our CAO was of the first order, a man to whom my wife and I will remain eternally grateful.
In short the event went down like this: Andrew and members of his platoon were on foot patrol, just south and slightly west of Kandahar. There were 11 MPs on the road. Andrew was ninth in that column.
The IED was remotely detonated on a 100-meter wire lead. Two additional jug IEDs did not co-detonate. One of Andrew's closest Army buddies was directly atop one of the duds. The one that exploded near Andrew was a 200 mm mortar shell. His squad sergeant was the eighth in line and he received serious shrapnel wounds. He was transported to Walter Reed. The medic was 10th in line and his breastplate protection was split in half by the concussion of the blast. The medic none-the-less sprung to aid Andrew. Tourniquets were attempted but it was apparent there was no hope for Andrew so attention rightly turned to the wounded sergeant.
Had he lived another 24 hours Andrew would have been homeward bound for two weeks leave. The day he was due home we buried him.
We asked to have his burial to be as close to Steve as possible. The staff at Ft. Snelling was quick to oblige. They broke their sequential burial order and buried Andrew directly in line with Steve in the subsequent row. Since then another row of urns has been placed between these two burials.

Patch: 
In the two years-plus since your son's death, you and your wife have become political activists, and you even became a political candidate for state office. Can you talk a little bit about that journey? 
Jeff Wilfahrt: That we are activists is a curious supposition. We think of ourselves as citizens. 
We have led a quiet life. And now suddenly our world was fractured open. The first contact came from MPR. Within a day or two CNN reached out. The CourageCampaign came to tape a video to be shown to members of Congress in an effort to finalize the repeal of DADT, although as his sister is quoted widely as saying, “being gay was least interesting thing about [Andrew]”. True words indeed.
When President Obama announced a surge in August what I knew was that more American families would have to endure the news we and so many others have had to bear.
The GOP majority moved the marriage definition bills through committee. I testified before both the House and Senate committees. My argument was simple: If his taxes were good enough, his blood was good enough, why weren't his rights good enough?
It was clear they were not listening. They owed the marriage definition to hard right-wing financiers who had put them in office. My wife and I were treated brusquely by then Sen. Koch, Sen. Limmer and others.
I think in hindsight we were so deep in grief that reluctance to speak up fell away. We tried to be very careful in how we spoke of our objection. Like it or not the LGBT community is comprised of tax-paying, law-abiding citizens upon what we see as equal citizen footing. They had every right to attempt to get before the courts to seek redress. The proposed amendment would have cut these fellow citizens off from the courts. Indeed the authors championed the notion that they did not want judges meddling with the who and what in this society could enjoy the legal benefits of civil marriage.
To us, the move to amend the constitution seemed altogether contrary to the oaths of office these legislators took to secure the rights of all citizens. All military personnel take an oath to defend the constitution, and now jokers were trying to undermine their fellow citizens rights. This had to stop.
It was the confluence of these events, Andrew's death and this malformed legislation that we could not, would not stand for to the best of our efforts. Our grief was secondary to the sacrifice of all MN military deaths and yes it became personal about Andrew. If they were good enough to pay with their lives, we could hardly do less than stand for the same documents they swore to defend. It was all about citizenship, about being engaged, about fighting for the perceived right of equality to everyone, no exceptions. This legislation intended to exclude was contrary to all things precious about American fundamentals.
Had this legislation not come about no-one would know our name. And in short order we will be forgotten just as far too many Americans forget the war dead.
When the majority pushed forward bringing the bills to the floor is when we started making conscious decisions about how to fight this ludicrous legislation. And fight we did.
Running for an elective office was never on my radar. As I stated, we led a very quiet life and were never public figures. But our local Rep. Bills had already gotten my ire even prior to Andrew's death with his votes and introduced bills. At the time I agreed to run he was to be my opponent. Sen. Klobuchar and I joked about me having scared him off but I must say I was disappointed to lose him as an opponent. I held no false notions about the deeply Republican district in which we live and how the vote would likely turn out. As it turns out our campaign spent roughly two thirds or my opponent [Rep. Anna Wills] and yet we took 47 percent of the vote. We got a far better bang for our buck than did my well-financed opponent. As I watch her legislative record she now appears to be far less fiscally conservative than I imagine my own voting record would have been.

Patch: 
Are there specific goals you feel like you need to accomplish for your efforts to have been successful, or are you just trying to gain as many successes — large or small — as you can? 
Jeff Wilfahrt: Our fellow Minnesotans did the right thing for themselves and their fellow citizens by rejecting the amendment. I believe even out state areas where it passed will eventually come to see this is the best outcome. So in a sense we accomplished nothing, the voters did it all. All we could do was present a counterpoint.
The goal was to defeat the amendment and Minnesota did. The goal was achieved. The amendment was stupid to begin with and the vote proved that point. Beyond that defeat we choose to reclaim our lives and withdraw from the public arena. We are just about there now.

Patch:
 It's obvious from previous interviews and statements you've made about your son that you are extremely proud of the person he was and the sacrifice he made. Do you think he would be proud of your efforts in the wake of his death?
Jeff Wilfahrt: We are indeed extremely proud, in particular because he set aside the societal affront of the community to which he was a member and was man enough to serve. He was a remarkable man in many ways.
If we had a penny for every time someone stated he'd be so proud ... well they didn't know Andrew. We smile about it in private.
Like most parents we tried to instill a sense of decency in our children. Feedback from those who know them would seem to say we succeeded. To my wife and I our actions were never more or less than an attempt to act in a decent and fair manner. We hope we did that.
We realized within days of his death that he was now just a statistic to anyone who did not know him. This is true for all the lost military outside of their inner circles. He was just one of roughly one hundred. His name is recorded along with so many others on brass plaques in those places where such sacrifice is honored. Each of them paid in full as the expression goes.
I have a letter Andrew wrote for father's day years before he entered the Army. I read it from time to time. He was proud of me long before he died. I'm content with that. As to your question, well I can only speculate, it is answer we will never know.

Patch:
 Are you a different person than you were two and a half years ago?
Jeff Wilfahrt: This question brings to mind something from my corporate life at 3M back in '80s.
A speaker was brought in and his premise was that by the age of 10 our personal selves are pretty much set, just like concrete. From that point forward only a very deep personal event can change us.
Accepting that premise I suppose our deep personal event has changed both of us.
But in another form of answer I'd say those legislators should have backed down when we came forward. They certainly didn't know how far a man of German-Bohemian and Scot-Irish blood would go in a fight. So maybe more than change I would say certain 10-year-old personality traits came to the surface and showed themselves. Perhaps I'm just more of my truer self now.
The most amazing thing is the number of LGBT people, alienated from there own families, rejected and neglected, we have met. It means so much to them that someone fought for them and this is a gift we would have never known otherwise.

About this column: We’re dedicating the month of April and May to telling the stories of people locally and statewide who have overcome the impossible, affecting positive change in their own lives, or in communities. Sponsored by Grape-Nuts.


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